January 4, cialis 2007 at 5:53 pm

There have been a lot of things going on in my life… the biggest of those things has been praying that God would end my bitterness. I have come to the realization that ALL feelings of bitterness that I have will not go away over night, viagra but thanks to God… They are starting to dissipate. I have peace where it wasn’t before. I am seeing things in a better light than I had.

Even I sometimes have a hard time with the “God is in control” phrase. No matter how much I know it is true, I tend to do the opposite of it. I guess that is why Jesus said to his disciples, “Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross and follow me…” I know that I am crucified with Christ… I am not alive: He is alive in me. My cross means that I must crucify myself daily. Die to self to live for Him. The Cross is also a place of submission. NOT my will but thine be done: I surrender myself, which is my main motivation to leave the cross I bear to go to a heavier more burdensome one. “My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Why was I fighting to keep my old burden… that gave me the bitterness… which is my “sin that doth so easily beset” me.

I went into my backyard today ready to burn something…and instead drenched it with water and buried it in the furthest part back. I can’t burn it up like it never happened. It did happen. It did hurt me… yet it is best buried where the pain will decompose and God will be ever before me.

Again… The Lord is showing me that it is not about me but all about Him…

Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and SIN which doth so easily beset us, and run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto JESUS the Author and Finisher of our faith; Who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. FOR CONSIDER HIM THAT ENDURED SUCH CONTRADICTION OF SINNERS AGAINST HIMSELF, LEST YE BE WEARIED AND FAINT IN YOUR MINDS. (Hebrews 12:1-3)

God is good…